Episode 3: The Zombie Apodcalypse

La Paz: Latin Link Retreat

Prayer walk with the team.

Token team photo.

La Paz: Community Church & The Hunt Family

Up a big hill with Mark (you're always up a hill in La Paz).

Sam with Rebecca.

The ever-developing La Paz cable-car system never ceases to enthral us. This
new blue line takes you literally to the centre of town (think Buchanan Street
subway station, but for cable-cars).

Ben on the left, Meghan on the right, Sam too tired to pose.

The following images are taken from a walk up the Muela del Diablo, the
spectacular rock formation you can see on the right-hand side here.
Disclaimer no.1: this is not my photo.

Disclaimer no.2: we drove most of the way in a mighty Lada.

Sam's ubiquitous goldfish crackers. They taste even better
at altitude.

La Paz Community Church.

One of LPCC's attendees is our old friend Dave McColl, now working as
the Samaritan's Purse chief in Bolivia. Mark called this a Scottish sandwich,
so I suppose that makes him a lorne sausage.

The Hunts' dog, Chumita, more than made up for Napoleon's absence in Sam's eyes.

The Band

The poster.

All set!

Some footage from our sound-check:

And here's our playlist. All covers, of course! The U2 and Ben E. King numbers were 'mashed-up'. Craig sang lead on Change The World, These Days and I'm On My Way, which doubled both as our encore and as an excuse to change into a 1978 Scotland shirt.

There are plenty more photos and videos from the concert. Send us an email if you'd like to see more.

Prayer Points

• Give thanks for a great time in La Paz, both at the Latin Link retreat and with friends old and new.
• Give thanks for a terrific gig on Tuesday and the opportunity to bless the Novo rehabilitation programme in this way.
• Pray for Sam at school; his behaviour has taken a bit of a nosedive recently.
• Pray for Bolivia as the country goes to the polls for the presidential elections on the 20th.
• Pray for Joe Stoneham, a new Latin Link worker who will be staying with us for a few days next week.
• Pray for the first meeting of Craig's Langham escuelita, on the 23rd.
• Pray for the launch of the church's new midweek meeting, next Thursday (17th).
• Pray for our time with our house-guest this week, Yoselín.

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig, Amanda & Sam

The Absence of Something Beautiful

On the third Sunday of every month, my (Amanda's) youth group at my home church in Canada, would visit two seniors' homes between the morning and evening services and sing hymns for the residents. When I was eleven years-old I remember being so excited about turning twelve because it meant that I would be in youth group and get to go to the seniors' homes too. My excitement was not borne out of a calling to the geriatric community, nor do I feel I have a musical gifting. The excitement was that the youth got to stay in the church building between services, as there was not a lot of time to go home after singing and then come back for evening service. In reality the singing at the seniors' homes was just something you had to do to be able to hang out with your friends afterwards. I am sure some of the youth might have had stronger feelings towards the singing than I did, but the truth was that I was there for the social aspect, not the ministry one. 

Despite my shallower motivations, I have fond memories of those Sunday visits. I can still see some of the residents' faces and how much the visit meant to some of them. And the truth is that I learned some very important life lessons over the years visiting the same two seniors' homes. One important lesson was about pushing myself outside my comfort zone; you see, after the singing we were encouraged to walk around and shake hands with the seniors and try and chat. When I started I was twelve and none of the residents were my own grandparents. I definitely felt awkward trying to talk to strangers; I mean, what does one say to old people? But over time I was able to see what the effort meant to some of the residents, and I learned that, while my comfort zone might be comfortable, it wasn't helping anyone but me. I learned that we are supposed to live outside our comfort zones, which is a lesson that has stood me in good stead on the mission field. 

However, I would like to focus on the second lesson I took away from these monthly field trips: true beauty. We visited two seniors' homes; one was a private Christian seniors' home and one was a state-run seniors' home. Firstly, I am not saying the Christian nursing home was full of Christians and the secular one full of atheists, because that's not statistically probable. But I will say that the Christian home had a higher percentage of people who held to the Christian faith as residents.  When I started as a twelve-year-old, I probably wasn't able to put my finger on why one home was easier to visit than the other, or why one home had a brighter atmosphere. The two homes were probably filled with residents fighting the same chronic conditions, who grew up in the same city, if not the same neighbourhoods, with very similar cultural experiences, and while a little bit of the difference could be attributed to private vs. public healthcare, the difference wasn't really on the walls or in the medical equipment: it was in the people. I spent years observing the difference and not being able to put my finger on it, until one day I had a conversation with my one of my youth leaders afterwards. I can't repeat the enlightening conversation verbatim, because I don't remember it. I only remember the lesson, but maybe it went something like this: 

Youth Leader: Did you have a nice conversation with 'little old lady x'?

Me: Yeah, I did. She's really nice and I like talking to her.

Youth Leader: She's not nice, she's beautiful. 

Me (really looking at the elderly lady): Yeah, you're right. She is beautiful. 

Youth Leader: It's because you can see Jesus in her. When I'm her age, I want to be beautiful like her too. 

Me: [mind blown!]

What teenage girl doesn't struggle with their own appearance and the concept of beauty? What teenage girl is not exposed to society telling them to be thinner, have a smaller nose, larger breasts, wear make-up, etc? Until that moment, beauty was physical for me, and then suddenly it wasn't. Or, better said, until that moment physical beauty was dependent on something we did to our physical bodies, but then I realised that true beauty (all of it... physical, mental, emotional, spiritual) was dependent on how much of Christ people could see shining out. It was like an equation in my mind; as Christ grew and I diminished, I would be more beautiful. And, as we know, this is the act of sanctification in our lives. That is why a seniors' home is a great place to go to see true beauty; there are people there who have spent more years than I can even fathom letting Christ grow and becoming more and more beautiful! 

The reason I have written all of this is because of Edwin. If you are supporters of ours, or on our email list, you will have received an email from Craig this week about the passing of Edwin Fernandez, and this post is about him, because he was truly beautiful. I can't think about him without thinking about those seniors' homes and learning the meaning of beauty. And I can't stop crying every time I think about him, because someone who was truly beautiful is just not here any more, and it feels like something is missing.

The truth is, I kind of feel like I don't have the right to have such strong feelings about Edwin because I didn't even know him that well. Edwin was the Bolivian national coordinator for the Langham Preaching programme. He traveled all over Bolivia running the training sessions for the 'escuelitas' and I first met him in 2015 when Craig helped organise the 'escuelita' in Trinidad. I wasn't involved in Langham, I never went to one of the weekend training sessions and I never worked with him. But most times he passed through Trinidad he stayed in our house for a night and I had the privilege of hosting him. He first came before we adopted Sam, and every time he came back after Sam's adoption  he got to see how big he had grown.

He was also the first person to challenge me about my struggles. He saw the problem before I recognised there was one. Near the beginning he would ask Craig if I was OK and if everything was alright. He would comment to Craig that I didn't seem like myself and ask if anything was wrong, and once I admitted I had a problem, Craig would share with him what we were struggling with. And one month ago, I was sitting next to him in a restaurant in Santa Cruz and he told me that I seemed so much better, with more life in me and more joy. He was so happy for me and in a way, even before he passed on, I felt he had walked with us through our burnout experience. He was a truly beautiful person. With very limited contact, he impacted my life in an indescribable way, so much so that I am really struggling to process his death. 

I bet we could all close our eyes right now and picture that person or those people who are truly beautiful in our lives, because we see Christ shining out of them so clearly that the beauty is blinding. Praise God for these people in our lives, and thank God that we get to witness real beauty. 

Prayer Points

• We are expecting a visit next week from Joel Likins from Lexington Church of Christ in Ohio. We are looking forward to spending time with him and showing him around Santa Cruz. Please pray that God would bless our time together.
• Last week we were in La Paz for our Latin Link Bolivia Conference for five days. We had a great time, but please pray that we settle back into our life and routine quickly, especially for Sam. 
• We lost Small Tiggy. This was Sam's special stuffed animal since he came to live with us. We think Tiggy got left on the plane on the way to La Paz. While Sam is consciously dealing with his loss well, we think he has lost an avenue of comfort and this is affecting his behaviour. Please pray for him in this.
• For our time in the Latin Link Bolivia Conference. We feel blessed to have such great support in-country and enjoyed this time with our 'family' (pictured, above).
• Sam had his English assessment for the English Christian school that we would like him to attend; he cooperated and there was no behavioural meltdown. Praise God. 
• For the friendships we are developing and enjoying in Santa Cruz. 

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig, Amanda & Sam

Saturday Post -- 17/02/18

Missionaries, eh?

We are now back, safely ensconced in Trinidad, but when we last wrote, our Guatemalan experience was only just beginning. So allow me to fill you in.

We made the most of our remaining time by Lake Atitlán, mostly slumming it by the pool, but also taking a boat ride one day for a little tour of the surrounding villages and towns, where Mayan culture continues to live large. 

Antigua, Guatemala's former capital city (helpfully,
'Antigua' means former).

However, our main reason for being in the Central American republic was, of course, Latin Link's International Assembly, back in Guatemala City, a four-hour drive from the lake on the morning of the 1st. The IA is a gathering of most of Latin Link's missionaries and support workers and takes place every four years. We have only been members of Latin Link for around 18 months and have just about got the hang of the Bolivia team, so while we knew it was probably the right thing to attend, we weren't exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of seeing old friends. So it was perhaps inevitable that the whole shebang surpassed our expectations, but it did so to an extent we had not anticipated; indeed, if you'll permit me a hackneyed cliché, I'd go so far as to call it a 'game-changer' (that hurt!).

La-la-la-la-la-la banda.

If you know my family, you may not be entirely surprised to know that the music at the IA was particularly special for me, though again, this in fact all rather snuck up on me. A few months ago, when the appeal went out for Latin Linkers to sign up to play in the band, I threw my hat in the ring with all the inevitability of an Olympic doping controversy. Because Cunninghams 'n' that. But as the IA approached, and with our family circumstances becoming increasingly challenging, I wondered if it might be best for me to sit this one out. As ever, Amanda knew best, encouraging me to go for it, knowing what a lift it would give me.

The joys were threefold. Firstly, I got to connect with a bunch of similarly somewhat-limited-but-willing people who loved the Lord and wanted to use such gifts to honour him; as a group, we gelled remarkably quickly. Secondly, we were led by the one person who was anything but limited: Santiago Benavides; missionary, musician, poet, artist to his fingernails. And, above all, a great disciple of the Lord, whose every utterance seemed bathed in thankfulness, and who, unlike the vast majority of Latin American Christian recording artists (whose output is largely driven by the immigrant market in the USA) espouses a most grounded, Latin American theology. 'Santi', from Colombia, was as patient and humble as he was professional. It was a privilege for all of us to serve with him (more here). 

A kids' programme was laid on for the likes of Sam.

Thirdly, and probably most crucially, for the first time in years I went back to my bass-twangin' roots, without the bothersome distraction of a microphone in my face. 'Twas very heaven.

With over 150 present from all over the western hemisphere in the morning sessions, the music inevitably had to cater to a range of cultures, and while Spanish was the main sung language, French, Portuguese, German and English songs also made occasional appearances. In the end, not a voice was muted and what could have been awkward became, under Santi's able direction, a spine-tingling foretaste of the new creation.

Mike Fernández, Cornhill cohort.

While I made lots of new friends in the music group, there were a few more of our old acquaintances in attendance outside of our Bolivia team. Peruvian Mike Fernández is now Latin Link's Scottish coordinator, a fair compensation having had the 'pleasure' of my company at Cornhill Scotland four years ago. A fair few missionaries from LAM Canada (which remains our main sending agency) were also present; with the Colombians LAM-ers, we staged a Super Bowl Sunday mid-conference caper (alas, Amanda and I had a long-standing engagement to attend to during the second-half). 

Our fellow Canadians.

Aside from the social stuff, the IA provided a daily diet of plenary sessions covering big, important themes for the world of missions (such as mobilisation, the changing nature of missions), and workshops dealing with more day-to-day practical issues (such as self-care, leadership and working with Millennials). We both gleaned great practical insight from these sessions.

An afternoon workshop.

The main order of business at the IA was welcoming Latin Link's new International Team Leader, Paul Turner, who assumes the role from Alan Tower (a great, warm guy, who served for many years in Bolivia, and who is moving on to Friends International). Amanda and I are really excited to be working under Paul, who, along with his wife, Ruth, we got to know well last year when they attended our Bolivia team meeting. They are a couple with a great interest in people and were a great encouragement to us. We are looking forward to seeing them again later this year, God-willing, at the Scottish conference.

Latin Link's World Cup winners, needless to say. A celtic conglomerate.

All said and done, the International Assembly proved well worth the airfare. What an encouragement to see what God is doing in Latin America; in particular, the increasing numbers of Latin Americans who are themselves bringing the good news to neighbouring countries, to Spain, or, indeed, to the Middle East (where they are, inevitably, much more welcome than the pastier-faced of this world). We are thrilled that Latin Link is actively facilitating such developments. And what a privilege to spend a week in the company of so many others with a love for God and for this corner of the globe. We're not alone, after all!

I'll close with a confession. As effusive as we try to be on this here blog, for the past few years we have often wondered if the time has come to pack up and head back to some kind of ministry back in Scotland; if anything, this has probably been driven by a combination of the relative isolation of Trinidad and the desire simply to be back among friends and family, more so than any real 'calling'. The International Assembly, for us, was confirmation that the Latin missions world is where we still belong. Whether that still means Trinidad, Bolivia, is a question for another day. For the moment, we're just thankful for the opportunity that Guatemala provided -- both for rest and for support -- and excited to see what our great God has in store. All glory, praise and thanks be to the 'Esperanza de las naciones'.

Prayer

• We arrived back in La Paz last Saturday, which was convenient, as our first big job after the IA was getting Sam's UK visa paperwork submitted (if you aren't aware, we're hoping to travel in late March for a six-month stay). However, being Carnaval weekend, we weren't able to hand over the documents till Wednesday morning, which required us to stay in La Paz a few more days; we were well looked after by a friend who lives in a quiet spot outside the city. Anyway, we appreciate your prayers that this application will be granted (what could possibly go wrong?).
• Sam starts his day-care again next week. You can pray for that.
• Assuming the visa gets the green light, we have just three-and-a-half weeks to finalise things here in Trinidad. Pray for focus, energy and patience.

Praise

• Our stay in Guatemala was also prolonged as the Latin Link Bolivia team opted to have our own two-day annual business meeting straight after the IA. Anyway, it was a good meeting and we had a particularly encouraging afternoon praying for one another.
• Guatemala also saw Amanda's mother, Selene, head back to Canada at the end of two months with us. She was a huge help during a challenging time for us, particularly in taking care of Sam. Give thanks for family.

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig & Amanda

Saturday Post -- 16/09/17

Group Photo no. 1: Langham Preaching, Trinidad. Edwin is on the right,
Igor in the sky-blue polo-shirt.

A little like West Ham United of late, recently I (Craig) haven't been home all that much at weekends. Though, admittedly, for higher motives than the removal of an athletics track.

Two weeks ago, I was with my Langham Preaching cohorts for our final annual workshop, led by our old friend Edwin Fernández, and, for the first time, Langham Preaching's Latin American Director, Igor Améstegui. 

For newcomers to the blog, Langham seeks to improve the quality of expository preaching in the church through cell groups. These cell groups meet once a month, with one of the group 'preaching' to the others, and the others responding with feedback. But before the annual cycle of meetings begins, there is an annual residential workshop, taking a slightly different angle. 

This year the focus was preaching from the Psalms, and it drew heavily on Christopher Wright's recent book, How to Preach and Teach the Old Testament for All Its Worth, which Langham have recently translated to Spanish (Wright even visited Bolivia for a special Langham conference earlier this year) and each attendee was given a free copy. 

While there was plenty of material on the different kinds of Psalms and their emphases (lament psalms, psalms of Zion, psalms of thanksgiving etc), Edwin and Igor shaped the weekend by taking a leaf from Walter Brueggemann's book (quite literally!) which groups the Psalms into three general categories: Psalms of orientation, of disorientation, and reorientation. So, for example, Igor and Edwin preached from a different Psalm each day based on these categories. And on the second night, there was a (much welcome!) time of pastoral care, in which we were asked to consider if our life and ministry were on a plane of orientation, disorientation or reorientation, and explain why.

What I particularly love about Langham is that, for all the focus on sound preaching, there is a great emphasis on aspects like this kind of personal care, and also the church as a receptor to preaching. On the second day, there was an exercise in which we had to write extensively about the needs of our churches, and then consider the main themes of the texts we had been preaching recently, and how closely those two aspects aligned. It was illuminating, to say the least, and had me thinking -- not for the first time -- that the Langham participants in our church ought to be getting together on a weekly basis to provide more direction for the preachers (mostly myself right now!). Admittedly, I've been considering this for a couple of years, but it has been difficult to find a time when everyone is free. Maybe it's time to simply go for a time when most people can make it. 

Anyway, as ever, a really stimulating and refreshing few days. Aptly, I think the group in general felt very much 'reorientated' by the Sunday afternoon. That evening, Igor preached at a special joint service of the churches involved, which we held at Fundación Totaí, and the encouragement of his visit with Edwin was shared by our congregants.

Group Photo no. 2: Latin Link Bolivia.

Meanwhile, last weekend, we found ourselves in the country's de facto capital, La Paz, for Latin Link Bolivia's annual retreat. You may remember that we were invited to join the Latin Link Bolivia team just over a year ago, and each year, among other things, we are required to participate in two events: one is the conference (which we attended over New Year) and the other is the retreat. The conference has a teaching programme and seminars, with plenty of time for group fellowship and some necessary group business meetings. The retreat, meanwhile, is really focused on pastoral care, so much so that those who lead the retreat come from outside the group.

La Paz from the air. As I explained to a friend, it's like Cloud City from
Star Wars -- only with even more treachery!

The retreat's focus this year was the Sermon on the Mount, and there were five main sessions. But instead of an aural teaching focus, each session required us to go away for an hour or so, read the required passage, and respond using prompts prepared by our retreat leader, Carlos. Two factors in particular made this possible. Firstly, Sam had his very own paceña babysitter for the weekend. Phew! Secondly, the venue was a place of great natural beauty, with plenty of space to be still and undistracted. Amanda and I both came away feeling -- yep, you guessed it -- reorientated!

Quiet times don't get much more 'quiet' than this!

As did the rest of the group, with whom we had plenty of time to further consolidate the connections we had only begun to establish in December/January. Before we went our separate ways, there was also a quick meeting to discuss the team's plans for Latin Link's upcoming international assembly, a four-yearly event which takes place in Guatemala in February. We have decided to kill two birds with one stone and have a slightly stripped-down version of our own team conference just after the assembly.

The only hitch came on Monday afternoon as the pilot on our homeward flight approached Trinidad, considered the tropical rainstorm that was taking place and thought to himself, "No thanks!" We were re-routed to Cochabamba, where the pilots waited for the situation in Trinidad to calm down. It did not, and we were flown back to La Paz on a No-Expenses-Paid basis (except for the next day's re-scheduled flight). This was particularly infuriating as a member of the crew had assured us all verbally that the airline would put us up in a hotel; we lodged a complaint upon our re-arrival in La Paz. 

As awkward as all this was, I was quietly delighted (don't tell Amanda!). Because our Cochabamba-La Paz flight took place around 5pm, which, for the photographers out there, is generally Bolivia's 'golden hour'. And there are few flights more scenic than Cochabamba-La Paz! Every cloud, then, does indeed have a silver (or, in this case, burnished-gold) lining. 

Illimani, Bolivia's second-highest peak.

The view over El Alto as we approached. El Alto is where
the airport is based and is a city in its own right:
it sits on the edge of the crater, rather than inside the
crater (like La Paz).

One happy customer.

And so, we checked into a La Paz bed-and-breakfast we know well, had a good sleep, got up and went back to the airport. And, appropriately enough, we reorientated ourselves back to Trinidad.

Prayer

• Pray for boldness and resolve for ourselves and our colleagues in putting into practice the principles learned over the past couple of weekends.
• Pray for our Guatemala trip next year. It's obligatory (and exciting!), but obviously expensive. Pray that the funds might come together for this.

Praise

• Give thanks for the great encouragement of the last couple of weekends.
• For the boost to the various churches in having Igor and Edwin visit us again.
• For the pastoral care and preaching help so abundantly afforded to the Langham group.
• For deepening relationships with our Latin Link colleagues.
• For plenty of time and space to meditate on God's word in La Paz.
• For the opportunity to simply get out of our ministry HQ for a few days and have time together as a family.

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig & Amanda

Saturday Post -- 26/08/17

The base of the old tower (left), the old tank itself (right)
and the beginnings of the new tower (centre). Hard hats optional.

A very tangible display of God's goodness to us is slowly but surely taking shape round the back of Fundación Totaí's headquarters. Late last year we were advised that FT's water tower, the delivery system for water to the building, was in bad shape, and dangerously so. The harsh climate here had caused parts of the structure to erode, causing parts of the piping to rust and a potential disaster to ensue, given the decreasing strength of the high tower and its proximity to the building itself. 

But finances were already tight as a drum, rendering any future attempt at a repair a, er, pipe-dream. So, as a Foundation, we took a step of faith and did something we'd never done before: appeal for funding for a repair -- or, if possible, a replacement tank -- from FT's friends and supporters around the world.  

Over the past nine months, that funding has come together, with various churches and individuals from both North America and Europe giving generously -- so much so, indeed, that we have been able to knock down the old tower and start from scratch. The construction team are currently two weeks into an eight-week schedule and things are already coming together nicely. We are encouraged and humbled.

We're also excited about the recent resumption of the men's and women's Bible study groups in the church. That old adage that Christians enjoy judging may be unsubstantiated at best, but the evidence that Bolivian Christians enjoy Judges is all around, with the girls doing a study of Gideon, and the boys a study of the book of Judges as a whole. Us guys had our second study last night and some great, gospel-driven conversations to boot (I was especially challenged by author Tim Keller's point on sin and our excuses for it, when, "I can't" in actual fact usually means, "I won't"). It's particularly thrilling to have one or two young-adult youth group members in attendance at the study, which is being led by our "brother, co-worker and fellow soldier", Carlos. Amanda came back with similarly glowing reports from the women's first meeting last Sunday evening.

I'm thankful for a few weeks out of the preaching game after a busier spell of late, taking charge of four of the past five Sunday sermons. Indeed, this proved to be providential this week under some challenging circumstances, namely some car issues and Sam catching a fever and being off nursery for most of the week. Yet God's hand was so visible even here. A healthy Sam would have gone bananas without some means of transportation to get him out of the house; as it was, he was quite content with cuddles and Dora the Explorer.

Next weekend sees our third annual Langham preaching conference take place, a little later in the year than the first two conferences due to my time out of Trinidad. The group is a little reduced at this point, but the longer wait means that those of us who have stuck with it are particularly excited for this year's edition. This year one of our speakers is Igor Améstegui, who is based here in Bolivia and oversees Langham's preaching programmes throughout all of Latin America. As you can imagine, he is a gifted preacher himself, and we will be having a special service at our church next Sunday evening so that the members of the various churches involved can hear him speak too.

So in the unlikely event of another maratón de Dora next weekend, I'd imagine Amanda will be unable to provide a further update. Furthermore, we are travelling to La Paz the following weekend for a retreat with our Latin Link cohorts. What's the name of that Depeche Mode song again? Oh yeah: enjoy the silence. 

Prayer

• Pray for a stimulating weekend of teaching and equipping next weekend and that, above all, our churches would reap the benefits.
• La Paz is not always the most relaxing of destinations. But we're looking forward to meeting with the Latin Link team again for a weekend of refreshing and encouragement. Pray for safety in our travels there and renewed vigour for the task ahead.

Praise

• Give thanks for the funding for the water tower, and the progress being made on its construction.
• Give thanks for the positive start to the new session of men's and women's Bible studies.
• Give thanks for the Lord's providential ordering of circumstances this week, and his abundant grace to endure. 

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig & Amanda

Saturday Post - 07/01/2017

As many of you might know from following us on Facebook, and from some personal messages, we now have Sam's UK visa. We are exceedingly grateful to be able to go home and are maybe not taking the trip as much for granted as we may have been doing before. Hopefully, this will allow us to enjoy time with friends and family even more once we arrive. Thank you so much to everyone for their prayers and support to us during the last three weeks. We very much felt uplifted.

If at first you don't succeed, stick him in a giraffe jumper.

I (Amanda) have to admit that I did not cope overly well during the last three weeks. My inner angry Amanda was not so easily contained and I spent a lot of time with the strong desire to shake my finger in someone's face. I was not a person filled with grace, and if the embassy had not been in Bogotá, the people there might have found that out for themselves. Obviously, now that we have Sam's passport back with a UK visa stuck inside I feel ashamed at how graceless I've been recently, not just to the imagined meanies in the UK embassy, but to the people around me as well. 

I've been so on edge for a while now with trying to jam so many different things into our lives before we left, that upon receiving a parking ticket (not there was an official ticket issued) on Christmas Eve and having my car clamped (I didn't even know they did that in Trinidad), I had a complete sobbing cry in the police station in front of the police officer. He, however, did not take pity on me and my life circumstances, and refused to reconsider extorting money out of me for his holiday party. The cry just kind of crept up on me until I was suddenly making quite the scene in the police station. As he refused to meet my eyes during the entire exchange, I can only imagine he was as embarrassed as I was. 

I think our biggest problem with the first visa application was that we were extremely naïve and really had no idea what we were doing. We wrongly assumed that because Craig is British they couldn't really deny us the right to travel home. Looking back at the difference in our first and second submission, I realise that our first attempt was really weak and I can kind of understand why they denied it, knowing now what they are actually looking for. While it was a very difficult, expensive and stressful mistake to learn from, we also recognise that it is an important one to have learnt, as we can only imagine how visa applications are going to be a large part of our futures. We definitely feel a bit more confident now, and hopefully will be able to make strong Canadian and US submissions in the coming months, and receive the visas first time around. 

One of my biggest struggles during this time was trying to figure out what God wanted from us. I believe, though sometimes don't always feel, that God's way is the best way. I believe, though don't always feel, that trusting God's plan is the right thing to do. But when the plan is not clear and we have to take one step at a time and wait to see what the next step is, I have felt very confused. I believe that we can't presume to know what God's plan is in any specific situation until he reveals it, and I can't presume that what I want is necessarily what God wants. When Sam's visa didn't come through the first time, we had to consider that God might not want us to go home just now. After prayer and consulting with a friend with embassy experience, we decided to make the second submission and wait and see, but we had to acknowledge that it might be denied again and that God might be closing the door on our plans. It hurt and I was angry, but we tried to work through things as a couple to accept this possibility. However, almost all our Bolivian friends and church family assured us that we would get the visa. And hence, my struggle developed. Were their assurances trite comments that people give to each other, or did they truly have faith that this was what God wanted? The answer to that question probably depends on the specific individual, but I know that for some they genuinely believed that the visa would arrive and that we shouldn't worry. 

Is it theologically sound to assume a specific outcome and presume to know the mind of God? Or should we pray more generally so that we are always praying for the will of God? I have to admit that I have always in the past leant, and probably still lean, towards the second option, because I know from experience that we don't always get what we want and God is still good. However, lately I wonder if I find the second option a safer one. Because to have unshakeable faith in one position over another in any situation sets one up for failure and disappointment. If I had held to the position that God was absolutely going to supply Sam's visa and He would do absolutely everything possible to get us home, I would have been even more devastated with a second rejection. So I wonder if I cling to one theological position over another out of fear, which doesn't sound like a good thing either. Maybe I am cheating myself out of seeing God do big things because it hurts too much when He doesn't always do big things. There has to be a balance, right? Thoughts welcome.

Despite my inner theological turmoil, we decided to pack up the house assuming that we would be away for 6 months, mainly because it made the most sense logistically. However, I like to think we were acting in faith as well. We left Trinidad on the 29th and arrived one day before the annual Latin Link Bolivia conference was due to start. As many people will know, we officially became Latin Link Bolivia members in September (though our sending mission remains LAM Canada) and have been encouraged by visits from our team leader Louis Woodley and Short-term Coordinator Brigitte Borner de Fernández. However, now we had the opportunity to meet the entire team. And the five days we had with everyone was such an encouragement. 

Sam's looking over at his new favourite friend Lisa (green t-shirt). They went
everywhere together and he stared at the gate longingly when her
family left. He couldn't understand why she would leave him.

The annual conference is an opportunity to catch up with one another (and meet people for the first time in our case), learn about everyone's individual ministries, be refreshed and spiritually encouraged and deal with business matters that affect how Latin Link Bolivia operates as a team. Everyone was so welcoming and it all felt very inclusive, and by the end of the five days we honestly didn't feel like the newbies. It feels really good to part of a group again, as we have definitely felt more isolated being the only missionaries at FT these days. LAM Canada has been such a supportive missions agency as well, but we're the only missionaries with them in Bolivia, so we have been missing fellowship. And now we're part of a group that just gets what we go through; they face the same challenges, deal with the same culture differences, and have the same goal. It's wonderfully encouraging. 

During the conference we studied the book of Ruth. Four different people each took a chapter and led us through it, Craig having been asked to lead Ruth 3. Then we went away in small groups and worked on discussion questions that allowed us to be open and honest with each other. We had two sessions in particular as well, one being self-care and the other being mentoring. I have to say that the session on self-care hit me very hard. Essentially, I haven't been doing it and have allowed guilt and insecurities from letting me take care of myself. But the best part of the session was realising that I wasn't alone. Things I had been feeling were laid out in black-and-white as being very typical for missionaries. Craig and I definitely have been challenged about being more intentional in taking care of ourselves. 

Being new members, we were not allowed to vote in the business sessions, but were allowed to contribute. It was interesting to learn more about the structure of the group and how things worked, and we were really encouraged when the annual retreat (this year in La Paz) was scheduled for September, as we will be back in Bolivia by then and able to attend. 

Since the end of the conference, we have been hanging out in Santa Cruz, Craig travelled to La Paz on Thursday to pick up Sam's passport and documents, and now we're slowly starting to get organised for travelling. We leave Santa Cruz on Monday morning for Sao Paolo, where we're spend two nights. We didn't want to make the trip too heavy on Sam, so we decided to break it up a bit, but I know that Craig and I are wanting to just get there now. On Wednesday we take an overnight flight from Sao Paulo to London and arrive on Thursday morning, where we have a two hour layover, and then we head up to Glasgow. So, we're five days away from being home. We are very much looking forward to seeing some of you soon!

Prayer

• Journeying mercies at all stages of the travels, especially for Sam during the eleven-hour trans-Atlantic flight. He is quite an active child who doesn't always like to sit still. 
• For our transition back into life in the UK.
• For our visa applications to Canada and the US.

Praise

• For such a good time at the Latin Link Bolivia Conference.
• For a restful time as a family after such a hectic last few months in Trinidad.
• For how well Sam has handled so many changes already.
• FOR THE UK VISA!

Craig speaking. Home assignment is as much a part of missionary life as the field work, and will doubtless make for some great blog material some day. However, as in 2014, we've opted to lay the Saturday posts to rest until we return to Bolivia in June. We may post occasional updates, but no promises.

Thanks again to everyone out there who reads these missives, from London, to Larkhall, to Lusaka. Most of all, thanks for sharing our burdens of prayer with us. Hope to see you in the coming months.

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig & Amanda

Saturday Post -- 17/12/16

Amanda and I are still in something of a state of shock after getting word on Thursday afternoon, four weeks before we were due to touch down in Heathrow, that our UK visitor visa submission for Sam was unsuccessful. 

The official dealing with the case wrote extensive feedback as to the basis of the refusal. This was most helpful in essentially understanding what our submission had lacked in terms of evidence, but pretty galling too, as the information we had referred to in our initial submission on the UK's website had been vague to say the least. We believe we have more than enough evidence to back up our case, and we would have sent it in the first place if it had been asked of us.

In all of this, God has given us a real provision: namely, Danny, a former employee of the Spanish consulate in La Paz, who moved to Trinidad with his wife -- an employee at Fundación Totaí -- and baby son earlier this year. We were able to meet with Danny on Thursday evening to assess the situation. He was a little taken aback by the refusal, but suggested we re-submit, and gave us a little more insight into what consular staff are looking for. Thanks to Danny, we have a new strategy, which will hopefully make the application a lot more watertight; I guess you could call him our Esther (Esther 4:14), though he's a big lad, so probably not to his face.

We immediately set about looking for a new appointment in La Paz, hoping to get one for Monday morning, which would allow us time to get our evidence together, while being early enough to hopefully have the visa arrive before our departure date from Bolivia (if not, we could at least make a date-change to the outbound flight at no cost). We were indeed able to source this, and so, we'll be making another 24 hour visit to that great city. 

And as you can imagine, the last 36 hours, but for about four hours' sleep on Thursday evening, have been taken up almost exclusively with assembling this new case; we're now armed to the teeth with letters that seem to touch all the bases. 

And yet, in those rare moments when our minds are otherwise unoccupied, we do wonder to ourselves why this is happened, and what on earth is going to happen next. Particularly if, as we can no longer rule out, this re-submission is similarly unsuccessful.

Maybe we were too presumptuous, but in our minds, this was all pretty straightforward: Scotland in January and February, Canada till mid-May (with our flights already booked for that), with a visit to friends and relatives in the US while in North America. About 20 speaking engagements with churches were already in place. In other words, we were mentally and emotionally prepared for this home assignment period. 

But above all, we were mentally and emotionally prepared -- nay, ecstatic! -- regarding the prospect of time away from our life and ministry in Trinidad. As has probably been evident reading between the lines here these past few weeks, we are close to burn-out, if not there already. We have had several searching conversations as a couple in recent weeks, about the general direction of our work here, and particularly a need for establishing more robust boundaries between our professional and personal lives. Just last week, we resolved to re-prioritise prayer while away from here, in order to better seek and understand God's will for our lives and ministry -- we would be particularly helped in this regard by the low-cost childcare services on offer from Grandparents Inc. So, if the resubmission doesn't cut the mustard, where do we go from here? 

This, and many more questions, are now at the forefront of our thinking. But, in reality, we are powerless, and paralysed by the fact that this is not in our hands, and all in God's. Correction: for 'paralysed', read 'liberated'.

Like so many others, we have known setbacks over the years. Or, as we increasingly prefer to call them, 'setbacks'. Chief among these, undoubtedly, was our infertility diagnosis a few years back. Yet if not for that, we almost certainly would never have met our intrepid, cheeky, and beautiful son, who has been a source of joy beyond comprehension. 

I am reminded, at this point, of a nugget of a sermon illustration (as it would happen, one that also touches on visa problems) of Romans 8:28 from Tim Keller:

I remember one day getting up, trying to explain this passage, and saying to them, “Listen, friends, do you know why I’m here? I’m glad I’m here. You’re glad I’m here. I’m glad I’m here. It has worked out beautifully. It’s because at the very end of my seminary career I decided to become a Presbyterian. That’s why I could go to a Presbyterian church. Do you know why I decided to be Presbyterian?

Because I fell under the influence of a particular teacher my last semester at seminary. Do you know why I fell under that man’s influence? He came from England after having tremendous visa problems (and probably wasn’t going to get there until the following year). At the last minute somebody cut through the red tape. He came, and I fell under his influence. Do you know why the red tape was cut? The dean of my seminary was on his knees praying about how we were going to get this guy over here when Mike Ford, Gerald Ford’s son, walked in and asked him what he was praying for. Mike Ford was a student at the seminary at that time.

Do you know why Mike Ford was able to cut the red tape? Because his father was the president. Do you know why his father was the president? Because Nixon had resigned. Do you know why Nixon resigned? Because of the Watergate scandal. Do you know why there was a Watergate scandal? Because one day a guard noticed in the Watergate building a particular door ajar that should have been closed.

We have no idea what is happening right now. I have reluctantly just had to wake up my wife, in order to lend a hand with said offspring so I can finish this; like me, she is struggling with sleep right now, perplexed as to exactly what is going on. What more can we do? What about Canada? Will Sam ever meet his relatives? How do we avoid burn-out now? 

Yet, with apologies to Donald Rumsfeld, this is a known unknown. We have been here before, and we now have the perspective to see the purpose of past 'setbacks'. There is a purpose in this, for God's glory, and for our good. We are nowhere near understanding, but we strive with every fibre of our being to trust. It is the safest place; it is the scariest place; it is exactly where God wants us, and all who have been called according to his purpose.

Prayer

• I think I've already made myself perfectly clear as to the main issue!
• For a straightforward visit to La Paz, a city that isn't nearly as much fun as it used to be.
• We must continue to work on the assumption that we are leaving Trinidad for five months at the end of December, so we appreciate your continued prayers for God's help in tackling the mountain of tasks before us.

Praise

• We prayed for an answer, and now we have it. We give thanks for it, and for future answers to this question, which, in ways we cannot now understand, are the best ones.

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig & Amanda

Saturday Post -- 26/11/16

Flying to La Paz from Trinidad...

It's probably been mentioned here before, but the wealth of nature and scenery that Bolivia has to offer at times beggars belief. It really has everything but the sea. A case in point is the 50 minute flight we took on Monday from tropical Trinidad to the world's highest international airport in La Paz. 

But such stark contrasts go beyond landscapes. Bolivia, in broad terms, is populated by two main people groups: the highlanders in western regions like La Paz, Cochabamba and Sucre, and the hot-blooded orientistas in our side of the country. And but for finding themselves inside the same borderlines, they have little else in common; unfortunately this can make for no shortage of racism and mutual suspicion.

They don't particularly enjoy encroaching into enemy territory either. Most folk in Trinidad who have ventured beyond the city limits will have made their way to the camba capital of Santa Cruz, a city where the driving is appalling, the siestas are aggressively protected, and the music is always cranked up to 11; in other words, a really, really, really, really, really big version of Trinidad.

...means going from this...

But mention La Paz to most people here, and those have made the journey will screw up their noses, and those who haven't will ask you what the point of that would be.

Well, earlier this week, our overnight visit to La Paz did indeed have a point -- a very important one, indeed -- and we were thrilled for the excuse to spend some time in a city we've always enjoyed in the past, not least for its spectacular mountain setting. Only we left realising we have now probably become more orientista than we had realised.

The altitude, of course, is a big factor here. And that would be manageable if things were relatively horizontal. But when the nearest grocery store from your hotel is three steep uphill blocks away, that's challenging. And when said hotel inevitably has a staircase or two, well that's just taking things too far. 

...to this.

With so much energy expended during the day, you'd think sleep would come easily. But that is affected, too. The first night or two at altitude is always challenging due to the vast change in temperature, and the shortness of breath, which you didn't notice during the day when you had other things to do (I often lie still wondering if I will wake up the next day or be suffocated to death in my sleep). To his credit, Sam adjusted marvellously to this, while his parents got about three hours' each.

So it's fair to say we were not exactly in sparkling form come Tuesday morning, with the appointment due to take place at 9am. Not being the best sleeper myself at the best of times -- this almost certainly being my 'thorn in the flesh' -- I just knew that this was the moment to trust fully in him whose power is manifested in our weakness. And that just about got us through the day.

As for the appointment, it could not have gone better. As mentioned last week, it was simply a handover of the compulsory documentation for the UK visa, plus anything else that might aid our cause (such as a letter from my parents). The only complicating factor was getting Sam's photograph taken; Sam, the most wanton of flirts, had eyes only for the woman and not the guy taking the picture. No documents appeared to be amiss, and yesterday we received email confirmation from Colombia that the application had arrived and was being processed. We should have an answer within the next ten days.

The appointment over and done with, we took advantage of La Paz's impressive new cable car system and hitched a ride back up (where else?) to our hotel, where we checked out and Sam rubbed further salt into the sleep wound by dosing off for a couple of hours in the hotel reception. A quick lunch followed in a café we know and trust, before heading to the airport and our flight back to Trinidad, where mosquitos, humidity and oxygen awaited us. It was good to be back.

Only La Paz hadn't left us. That trusted café, we were to find out in the next 24 hours, had given us both a nasty bout of food poisoning. That trusted café where, to our general annoyance, Sam had staunchly refused to eat anything, returning to Trinidad both fully rested and lacking in any queasiness whatsoever. You'll soon learn, m'boy. You'll soon learn.

Prayer

• Pray for the visa application, now making its way through the British consulate in Bogotá.
• Pray for energy to finish well here. Knowing ourselves and what we can handle, we generally have a three-month rule, whereby we are never in Trinidad for more than a three-month period without some kind of break. We are now entering month three since our last proper break and are flagging somewhat, with so much left to do before leaving Trinidad at the end of December.
• Pray particularly for the church and Fundación Totaí, where we have a lot of groundwork to put in place before leaving. Normally, this is a sign that overseas workers haven't been doing their jobs properly (i.e., they haven't been training up others during their time on the field). In our case, it owes more to a couple of key people leaving both organisations at year's end.
• Pray for the visit this week of Brigitte Borner from Latin Link, who is coming to assess the short-term volunteering options we have available here.
• Finally, joking aside, pray for the city of La Paz, which is experiencing severe water shortages right now (we were largely spared any problems in the neighbourhood in which we stayed).

Praise

• For safe travels to and from La Paz, and a straightforward appointment on Tuesday morning.
• For the three months spent here by Melissa Olmstead (USA), who volunteered in the church and foundation and was supervised by Amanda. She moves on to Cochabamba for further language training on Sunday.

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Craig & Amanda