Saturday Post - 20/06/2015

This week has been quite exciting!!! Earlier in the month we received the notice from the local Judge that our request to be adoptive parents was approved and that we could now proceed to Social Services to start all the testing and evaluations. Yay! This was great news, until we realised that, once again, they had spelt Craig's name wrong on the paper. You see, no one here believes that Craig knows how to spell his own name. They see CRAIG and they think he must have meant to write GRAIG, or if they only hear his name they think his name must be GRAY. It has been a source of frustration for us during every stage of paperwork we have ever done in Bolivia. Bolivians are more likely to get our surname right than they are to get his first name right. So, our lawyer had to go back to the Judge's office and request the paper be rewritten. Sigh...

We waited on this for about a week and a half and on Tuesday this week we finally picked up the paperwork, having clearly convinced the Judge that Craig knows how to spell his own name. Maybe this was some type of suitability for parenting test? I think we passed. So on Thursday we arrived at Social Services and met with the Psychologist, named Gabriella, who was really pleasant and who spoke in a really soft and reassuring voice, maybe worried that she might scare us away otherwise. She first congratulated us on the decision to become adoptive parents and talked through the legal process that we needed to go through with various people in the Social Services offices. It was all quite encouraging and exciting and it really started to feel like we were making progress. We were told we would need to undergo psych and medical evals, a social work home visit and a parenting course (which is apparently new since KC and Maicol adopted Caleb). We were to return the next day for our medical evaluations and for the time table of all our other appointments.

I was worried that the whole process would take at least a month if not longer, and I was worried that our absence while in Scotland for the upcoming family wedding, would throw a spanner in the works, but thankfully not. We arrived yesterday morning and met with Gabriella again who assured us we could have everything all done by this coming Friday before we leave. So, every afternoon this coming week we are in Social Services having some sort of evaluation or parenting class for an hour or two.

So we now had our schedules and we were expecting to be passed on the doctor for the medical exam when Gabriella pulls two eggs out of her desk drawer and she says that we should each take one. We both just grabbed the closest one to us, not quite knowing where she was going with this. Then she asked us to return the eggs to her... okay... so we do. Then she puts both eggs on the desk next to each other and says, "Now you have to pick one egg between the two of you." We both just kind of stare at her, still not sure where she is going with this. I say, "Can we talk to each other about it?", thinking it might be some kind of trick or game. She assures us we can, so I look at Craig and he says, "I want the darker one", and I say, "Sure...". If this was some psych test to see how we make decisions I don't know if it worked... I mean it was an egg. When it comes to deciding if we are going to adopt a specific child or not, we are going to have more of a conversation than we did with the egg. I am not going to fight about which egg I wanted; I didn't particularly want one egg more than the other. Craig expressed an opinion, so we went with it. Hmmm... Does that say something about us? Should I be worried I am too passive in our relationship? Maybe I really did want the lighter coloured egg and I let the opportunity pass me by? Then I think... nahhh... Amanda does not equal passive. So Craig picks up the darker of the two eggs and now we have a new member of our family.

I would like to introduce you to Ringo Starr!

We were told that we have to look after this egg for the whole week. The only rule was that we couldn't leave it behind in the house if no one was home, but it was up to us how we divided the care of Ringo (I picked the name... Ringo Starr was recently the answer to two different questions in Trivia Crack that I got right, so the honour was passed on to our new addition). Gabriella told us that I could look after it all the time or we could share the responsibility. My following thought was, "Is Craig looking after it all the time an option or is that notion still too modern for here?" I think both of us at this point are thinking that this might be some sort of joke, but apparently not. Craig says his first reaction when we realised she was serious was, "I'm 32!". Mine was, "I wish in high school I took Home Ec where they had those programmed dolls, instead of taking Shop Class where I made CD holders and wooden pens". After everyone finally deciding that this was all really happening, we were taken through to see the doctor. 

The medical exam was dead easy... I explained that I've been diagnosed with infertility, which caused him to exclaim, "Great... approved." He essentially took our blood pressure and pulse as a formality and checked that we didn't currently have diabetes or high blood pressure, though due to my family history I am sure both are coming my way in the future (not that he asked about family medical history). He said that it's a good thing that we can't have our own kids because we wouldn't want to mix biological and adopted children. We just smiled and nodded, internally thinking that that is blatantly not true. Sure, its a concern that every family should consider, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with having biological and adopted children together. The doctor went on to ask about our egg, as he was clearly not informed as to this new method of psychological testing. He asked if we were carrying it around for luck... ummm, no... that would be very un-missionary like of us. We explained how we had to look after Ringo (though we didn't confess to the doctor that we had named it), and he couldn't quite believe we were serious either. He ended the consult with, "Good luck with the egg, if it was me, I'd eat it." 

At some point that morning I expressed to Craig that there was no way I was looking after this egg myself, which he agreed to of course. If he had disagreed he would have gotten to see how non-passive I can really be. We very quickly figured out who was going to take care of the egg at what time. Essentially the person who is in the situation where the egg is least likely to break gets custody at any specific moment in time. For example, Craig went fishing this morning with the Men's Ministry, I went to the Youth Group Leader's prayer meeting. Fishing vs. praying... yup, I got custody of Ringo this morning. We were, however, in a bit of a pickle yesterday evening when we went to the stadium. Craig went to run laps and I went to walk laps... but what to do with Ringo? Sadly, Ringo was left in the car as it was deemed the safest place for him. I would like to expressly state that Craig and I know that you cannot leave children locked in a car with the windows up. We know you can't do that to children; you can, however, do that with eggs. Also, this morning I had to do the grocery shopping and I again left Ringo in the car when I went into the various shops. This time I was more concerned that they would accuse me of theft when I tried to leave the store without paying for the egg. I'm not sure if we're breaking Gabriella's rules or not, but I think some flexibility is warranted; we are both mature adults who have full-time jobs and extra-curriculars. We do understand a child will change our schedules and priorities, but we both think an egg should not. 

So that is our how family of two humans and two dogs, became a family of two humans, two dogs and an egg. But only for a week... I hope. I mean, I'm not entirely sure Ringo is even hardboiled. 

Craig is speaking tonight on Deborah and Barak. We spent some time this week chatting about a game that would highlight the lesson he was trying to get across. We really struggled. We finally decided that we would blindfold someone in the middle of the room and give them a balloon which they have to try and protect from someone who is trying to sneak up on the them to pop their balloon. The blindfolded person is Sisera and the person doing the sneaking is Jael... get it? It might go down well, or it could be a disaster. I mean, if I were the person blindfolded holding a balloon that could pop in my arms at any moment I think I would freak out, throw the balloon at the encroaching danger and run. Balloons popping in my ear distress me. But, I think that some of the young people could really get into it. I think we might even draw a face on the balloon... maybe extra points for stabbing him in the temple? 

Hopefully next week we can let you all know how some of our appointments went and all the things we learnt at our parenting classes. 

Prayer:

• Protection for Ringo - in all seriousness, we don't want damage to this egg to hinder our chances of adopting in the near future. I'm not entirely sure what we're supposed to be learning from this exercise (eg. child care, division of labour, decision making?), but we would like everything to go as smoothly as possible. Please pray for all our appointments this coming week as well. 
• This coming Friday morning is our Team Building day at FT. I do have a lot of the activities organised, but I have still to organise a lot more things, like the food. Please pray that the staff find it useful, fun and encouraging. Please pray that this activity brings an even greater sense of unity to FT's workers. 
• This week saw the installation of our new digital fingerprint attendance system. I have no idea what they are called in English, but essentially from the start of July people have to clock in and out with their fingerprint; we are no longer using the sign-in sheets. Please pray for a smooth transition, especially since I won't be here. 

Praise:

• The safe arrival of the team from the States. The finally got into Trinidad this morning and KC has sent me a message saying that they are settling in well. Also, praise that due to our recent, frequent trips to Social Services we have been able to arrange for these volunteers to spend one afternoon a week helping out in Trinidad's orphanage, which was something they were all interested in doing.
• Craig's fishing trip this morning with the Men's Ministry. Attendance was low, as so many people had other things they had to do, but Daniel (Romina's husband) caught his first fish ever! Craig said those that were there had a good time. Praise that these males friendships could be cemented even further. 
• Praise for the progress we are making with the adoption process and that, hopefully, when we return from Scotland at the end of July, we can seriously start looking for a baby to adopt having finished with all the preparatory steps and procedures.

¡Que Dios les bendiga!